Thackeray's Run
by RebelAlliance6112
Summary: Thack Tesig was a flight mechanic during the civil war. He suffers PTSD from his experiences. Jinx is the office assistant at the New Republic Veterans Clinic on Ryloth where Thack gets his counseling. She carries a burden as well. Dr. Mindaat is the lead counselor, with her own agenda. They team with an eccentric pilot to search for answers. I originally published on AO3.
1. Chapter 1 - Mr Tesig?

**INSTALLMENT 1 – MR. TESIG?**

"Take a deep breath." The voice was trying to sound sincere, but something was missing.

"What do you see?" What was it I was supposed to be concentrating on?

"Just give it time, try to relax and focus." Time…..I need to get back to work soon.

"Just…breathe." Didn't she just say that? I popped open an eye. Just a bit. I saw her sitting across from me, but she wasn't looking at me. She wasn't even looking in my direction. My counselor was staring intently at her data pad. Finger flicking randomly. She didn't notice that I was watching her. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and then opened them, looking directly at her.

"Ma'am?" My counselor looked up with a slight start, but quickly recovered.

"Did you focus in on what we talked about?" She was looking at me now.

I started to say something, then paused. I was having trouble collecting my thoughts. "Not really. It's hard to replicate in a setting like this. Sitting in a chair and trying to think of something isn't how the attacks come on. They just….happen."

I said the last part quietly. Thinking of an attack put a small catch in my throat. I didn't want to take it any further.

She sighed. "Look, Mr. Tesig…." Her data pad beeped and she glanced down at it, making a quick swipe before looking back at me. "It takes time. Let's call it a day and we'll try again next week, okay?"

I simply nodded and headed for the door, not before noticing that there was still twenty minutes of the allotted hour left. As I exited the counselor's office and headed into the waiting area, her Twi'lek assistant glanced up.

"Oh, hi! Mr...?"

She's young, I thought, and probably sees twenty people coming through here every day that look more or less like me. If not physically then mentally. "Tesig. Thackeray Tesig."

"Right, sorry." She smiled apologetically and looked slightly embarrassed. "Done already? Would you like to make an appointment for next week?"

"Um, I'm pretty busy. Work is picking up. How about I call and set something up when I know what my schedule is going to be?

Her brow furrowed a bit. "Okay, I look forward to seeing you again. Have a good week."

I smiled and walked out the door, which opened directly onto a side street in a modest business area of Lessu. The streets were moderately busy with a few hover crafts of various types floating lazily by. Traffic, both pedestrian and vehicle, wouldn't pick up for a couple of hours still, which was why I always scheduled my appointments earlier in the afternoon.

Sighing to myself and shoving my hands into my coverall pockets, I put my head down and headed back towards the hanger bays and maintenance docks. They were adjacent to the Lessu spaceport, which was where I had called home for the past two months. It wasn't that work was hard to come by. I had been turning Harris wrenches and pilot drivers with the best of them since my early teen years. It's just that, I couldn't seem to settle.

The counseling sessions weren't really doing that much other than taking an hour of my afternoon and generally leaving me in a state of agitation. It was the New Republic's effort to take care of veterans of the civil war. They meant well, but the quality of specialists was directly proportional to the distance from the core worlds. And Ryloth was pretty far out. This was only the most recent of more than a few. They were all the same, just focus on what caused the flash backs. Thing was, I didn't know what really triggered them. They just happened, no rhyme or reason. How can you recreate something that you can't predict?

I coughed to clear my head. It didn't matter, had work to do. I was working on the atmospheric flight control system of a freighter that had come in from Sullust. The repulsor drives wouldn't synch up with the vector thrusters, resulting in a very bumpy approach once the craft entered atmosphere. The navigation computer did not register the subtleties of the misalignment, almost as if it switched off once it realized it wasn't in space. Lazy assed computer, I smirked to myself.

And then it hit me. Maybe it wasn't a mechanical issue, but a software issue! The navigation computer more or less switched off once the ship dropped from space into atmosphere. What if it wasn't being lazy, but was confused? I'd bet a pint of the local brew that the freighter captain hadn't bothered to update the hyperspace maps lately, or at all for that matter. They don't change all that much besides minor updates to asteroid fields or comet trajectories. However, also included in those updates were software patches. Small patches on their own, but if not updated over a long period of time, then the computer was probably glitching. The vector thrusters weren't synching because the computer wasn't online providing nuanced guidance for manual pilot control.

Atmospheric flight was always interesting, maneuverability so different between space and various atmospheric types. Like on Hoth when we struggled so hard trying to adjust our fighters to extreme weather conditions…..

The attack hit. Delayed just enough for me to know it was coming, but too fast for me to do anything to prepare for it. My throat closed off. Trying to inhale was like trying to run through a wall. I veered off and leaned up against the side of a building. Wait for it to pass…the memory came flooding in.

"_Just patch the damned thing already!" It was mere minutes since Rogue Squadron had taken off in an attempt to slow the Imperial assault, but it felt like an eternity. The evacuation had been chaotic, and the ground crews had been frantically working to ready the transport craft along with their X-Wing escorts. Concurrently, those same over worked ground crews were also preparing the T-47's for the anticipated ground assault. The climate of Hoth was just too much for the X-Wings. However, we figured out a couple of work arounds for the T-47's to keep them from freezing up. It was all we had._

_None of this mattered to Laren Altaren, Rogue Squadron pilot currently without a flyable ship. We had cannibalized the beaten down 47's as much as we could to get the squadron up and flying. Ten made it up once the Imperial Walkers had been spotted on the North Ridge. Altaren's speeder had a bad actuator on his vector thruster. The result was a significant decrease in maneuverability, so bad that it was difficult to control the speeder in flight. Exacerbating the problem was that the coolant hose leading up to the actuator had multiple leaks. The coolant in this case, since Hoth was so cold, actually acted as a defroster. It kept the actuator, and thus the flight controls, functional. One of the many work arounds._

_I put the last bit of shielding tape I had on the hose._

"_Thack, are we good? I have to get up there!" Laren was nearly on my shoulders looking down at what I was working on. _

"_I think so. It's not going to hold long. Maybe ten minutes of flight? Laren, look. Get to the evac point and to your X-Wing. There's not much you can do at this point!" _

_He looked at me like I had just kicked his kid, of which I knew he had two. "Just a couple of runs, to buy a bit more time. Then I'll get to the evacuation point, I promise." His expression softened a bit. "You know I have to, you know how it is."_

_I did know, didn't make it any easier. "Two passes, then break contact. I'm heading to the south ridge. Boss lady will have my ass if I get on a transport after she does."_

_Laren grinned as he jumped in the speeder, firing up the thrusters. No tail gunner was around to join him. "I'd rather kiss a tauntaun than get on Nera's bad side. You're the best mech we have, Thack. First drink is on me next time around."_

_With that, he piloted his T-47 out of the hanger doors and away towards the fight…_

My breathing slowly returned to normal. I could feel the cold sweat starting to dampen my coveralls. The playback in my head kept going though.

_After Laren took off I made my way to one of the final transports to make it out. My boss, Nera Kase, was there just ahead of me, scowling at me and looking relieved at the same time. Imperial troops had stormed the base._

_The transport I hopped on had a lot of the infantry on board that tried to hold the ridge for as long as they could. I overheard some of them talking about the air support, in particular one speeder. As they were running for safety, under direct fire from the AT-AT's, one lone speeder showed up, flying directly at the group of walkers. Most of the squadron had either been shot down or scattered. This guy showed up late. The AT-AT that had been directing its fire towards the ground troops had to make a sudden and awkward adjustment to meet the unexpected threat. The speeder took a direct hit and immediately spun over and nose dived straight into the ground. No opportunity to eject. A moment later, the lead AT-AT destroyed the shield generator. _

_According to the young grunt telling the story, it took a few moments AT-AT to readjust itself after downing the speeder and resume its forward march and fire. In those few moments, many of the fleeing rebels made it over a small ridgeline, out of the direct line of fire of the walkers._

_ "It was maybe ten seconds, maybe less. But that quick break from taking fire allowed us to make it over that ridge. I thought I was done, thought the whole squad was done. But we made it. I take back everything I ever said about pilots and how easy they have it." The kid, paused for a second, then up and walked out. Leaving the rest of the group alone in their individual worlds._

It was Laren. If I hadn't fixed his speeder he may still be here, I thought. But then a lot of those kids on the ground wouldn't.

I rubbed my eyes and blinked my vision clear in the waning daylight. In front of me was a blurry figure, slowly coming into focus.

"Mr. Tesig?" It was the young Twi'lek from the counselor's office.

I was immediately annoyed, borderline angry. I hated being seen like this. "What, you following me or something? I told you I'd be in touch!"

She looked taken aback by my outburst, but then her expression softened a bit. She looked genuinely concerned. "Mr. Tesig, you left the office nearly an hour ago. I'm off for the day." She cocked her head slightly to the side. "Are you okay? You look sick. Should I call someone?"

An hour? Great. I pinched the bridge of my nose and grimaced. The attacks were getting worse. Glancing up, I could see she was still in front of me, a concerned yet quizzical look on her face.

"Look kid, I'm sorry….I um. I have to get to work." With that I pushed past her towards the spaceport.

"Wait, Mr. Tesig! I can….." I didn't make out the last part of what she was saying, quickening my pace to get away. To her credit, and my relief, she didn't follow.

My brain was scattered. Muttering to myself, I wondered how I was going to be able to finish the day. Head down I pressed on, no really knowing what else to do.


	2. Chapter 2 - Jinx

**INSTALLMENT 2 – JINX**

I had meant to go back the next week, to give the counselor the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was having boyfriend problems. Maybe her mom had been sick and she was waiting for an update.

Or maybe it was just another medical professional that took a bonus from the New Republic to counsel vets on the Outer Rim. Whatever the case, one week turned into two. Then three. Then I kind of lost track. Never went back.

The repair job on the atmospheric flight control system on the freighter had gone well. Turns out I was right, the captain hadn't bothered paying the few extra credits to keep his navi computer up to date. He was grateful for the quick fix, and slipped me a small bonus for not telling his crew.

That and the few other side jobs I had finished up that week left me a bit flusher with credits than I was used to. As a result, I found a better counselor. Alcohol. Which was where I found myself now. Any space port worth anything had a bustling business of bars, cantinas, and many other levels of establishments of varying ill repute. With enough credits you could find a new religion, new love, and rock bottom all in one night. I had credits. Lessu did not disappoint.

I wasn't sure about the past half day, but I did know that I wanted more Corellian Whiskey and more of those fried meat stick things. My stomach was growling and I was in danger of both starving and losing the warmth of drunkenness. The individual in front of me, the bartender, was preventing me from obtaining both. Cut off? What does that mean? He had two horns coming out of his head. I had to play it cool, pretty sure calling him horn head or horny face was probably not the way to go.

Deep breath Thack, you got this.

"Listen, Pointy…" Well done Thack, nicely done.

When I opened my eyes, I had clear sight of the ceiling, and my head was amazingly clear. A fist hitting your face at high speed does wonders for sobriety. My vision cleared just in time to see a pair of hands heading my direction and pulling me to my feet.

Pointy lifted me to my toes and pulled his face close. "That's it, you drunk. You're outta here. Don't bother sticking your face back in here, asshole."

I started to protest but he cut me off as he dragged me towards the door. "Yeah whatever, man. We all get it, fought in the war, lost friends, whatever. Nothing compared to what folks around here went through."

Pointy was kind enough to open the door by way of tossing me out of it. I hit the ground hard, and the sudden sobriety thanks to Pointy's right hook dissipated. The returning fog of whiskey threatened to cut me off from reality, though I was briefly conscience enough to make the realization that the lurch I was feeling in my head was exactly that.

Through the coming haze I heard a high pitch whining sound. It was surprisingly familiar and comfortable.

"Hey, the APU's are starting up…" I murmured to myself. Up on one elbow, I angled my face upward towards the warmth of the waning sunlight. I caught a faint whiff of hydraulic fluid, probably from my coveralls, and a sudden feeling of anxiety hit me. Clenching my eyes shut, my chest seized inwards. The darkness gave way to a visual, like a holonet video on replay.

_ The whining of the auxiliary power units continued to increase in volume and pitch. It was soon joined by the deeper sound of the four fusial thrust engines coming online. The X-Wing I was running final diagnostics on hummed to life._

_ "Gold Squadron, begin take off procedures," droned the hanger bay announcer._

_ As I disconnected the data cable I noticed a panel on the engine not secured. I stepped over to clamp it down, just missing an orange suited pilot running by towards his starfighter. A cargo hauler being used as an ad hoc transport zipped by piled high with other suited up pilots, each jumping off as they came to their own starfighters._

_ The pilot of the X-Wing I was servicing scrambled up the ladder into the cockpit and I followed him up, grabbing his helmet along way. I looked to give him a quick brief of the diagnostic results, but his eyes were focused. Concentrated yet distant at the same time. We all knew the Death Star was here. We all remembered Scarif and Alderaan. We all knew that failure meant all would perish. I had made my peace with it._

_ I handed the pilot his flight helmet, blue squadron insignias emblazoned on the front. Reaching in to flip on his navi computer to start take off procedures, I gave him a nod, then dropped down the ladder. The hanger bay announcer was speaking again but was drowned out by all the starfighters now running at full power. I removed the ladder and glanced up at the pilot as his canopy closed. What was his name? Only recently arrived, I really didn't know anyone except for my boss and a couple of the other new mechanics that I showed up with._

_ Final hoses and cables were disconnected, deck crew personnel grabbed their lighted wands to guide the starfighters out. In the distance I saw Nera Kase, the maintenance chief, stalking down the flight line, ensuring all final checks were being done correctly. I hadn't met her, but was told she ran the place. A quick burst of hot air buffeted me as the X-Wing I had been working on gently lifted off and glided away. Nothing else to do, I went to the command center._

I forced my eyes open. It was darker now. I could hear a male voice talking in Twi'leki nearby, pretty sure it was about me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to breathe….

_In the command center…..all standing around. It was my first time here. Finally got a glimpse of the mythical princess from Alderaan that was our leader. Mechanics, other support personnel, gathered into the space, just listening. The three senior crew chiefs were across from me. My boss was one of them but I couldn't remember his name. Nera off to the side glancing quickly between the control board showing ship locations and her data pad. Her face was calm but her fingers flew. How did she do it? I caught bits and pieces of the radio calls between all the pilots._

_ "Cut the chatter, Red Two!"…..Wasn't that the squadron commander?_

_ "We're starting for the target shaft now." Pretty sure that was the Y-Wing leader._

_ The individual pilots called out their strafing runs, trying to draw away the defensive turbo lasers from the Y-Wings. Some having more success and closer calls than others. Red Three called his run and soon after his wingman called out. "I've got a problem here." Red Three called for him to eject. A few more words were exchanged. "No it's alright…." A cry and then silence. Nera intensified her glare into her data pad. My boss walked out._

_ I heard the command center watch officer make the call that enemy fighters had been detected._

_ "I'm hit!" Instant silence. That made two._

_ The radio chatter devolved into everyone trying to keep everyone else alive. Y-Wings got jumped in the trench. Then another pilot went down. And another. They were all falling._

"_Hits away!" came the call._

"_Did it go in?"_

"_Negative, negative." came the dejected response. The squadron commander gave final orders to the remaining X-Wings, his own craft was falling apart around him. There was a loud blast, a defiant scream, then silence. _

"_The Death Star has cleared the planet. The Death Star has cleared the planet," came the announcement. I closed my eyes. It now had a clear line of fire. This was it. But I just got here…._

_I heard a cry over the radio, a cry of joy? I didn't care. And then nothing. We were all dead. Except we weren't._

_Everyone screamed and started hugging one another, then ran for the hanger. I hung around for a few moments. Nera and a few others lingered. Everyone was so happy and cheering. But so many pilots had just died. The pilot I handed the flight helmet to, I couldn't even muster any final words. I knew I should have been elated to be alive, but was instead exhausted, flush with adrenaline and numb all at the same time. I had been so happy to finally arrive, and now I hated everything about it. _

And just like that, I was back on Ryloth. Opening my eyes, vision was still shot but my breathing somewhat returning to normal. Heart was still working hard to dislodge itself from my chest. Brain was very foggy. I realized that I was no longer lying in the gutter, but sitting upright in it. I also realized that my hands were fastened behind me in restraints. I looked towards the closest sound and saw two figures, one large and one not so much. Both were speaking adamantly and gesturing in my direction. The argument was in the local language so I was having a hard time keeping up, but I got the impression that the smaller figure was on my side. The larger one, definitely not.

They finally seemed to arrive at some kind of agreement. The larger one hauled me to my feet from behind and removed the restraints.

"Look," I started, "I don't know what this is about but if you…"

"Shut up!" hissed the smaller figure, squaring off in front of me.

She was female, and coming into focus. "Shut up? Who do you think you, wait a minute. You're the girl from that stupid counselor's office! I told you to piss off, didn't I?"

The young Twi'lek office assistant glared at me. "Yeah, you more or less did. And unless you want to spend the night in jail, you'll shut the hell up!"

I looked over at the large individual, whom I now recognized as a very mean looking Twi'lek police officer. He had obviously seen his fair share of fights, and was staring angrily towards me, arms crossed. Restraints still hanging from his fingers. I watched them dangle back and forth for a few rotations then looked back to the young girl.

"Okay, look. Um, thanks but I can…."

She cut me off. "You can't do anything other than leave with me. Otherwise you're his and you get your ass handed to you a second time tonight."

I exhaled heavily. She grabbed my hand and started leading me away from the bar.

"Where are you taking me, kid?"

She shot me a sideways glance. "To get some food. You're buying me dinner as payback for saving you. You also need to sober up." Her nose wrinkled a bit. "You smell like schutta shit."

I started to make a response, then gave up. "It's been a long day, kid."

"I'll say has. And call me Jinx."

I almost laughed. "Jinx? Your parents named you Jinx?"

Jinx smirked as she continued to lead me through the street. "No idiot, it's what people call me. Now come on, we have things to talk about."

I almost laughed again. "Oh really? What could we possibly have to talk about?"

This time Jinx didn't look back, but I could see her annoyed expression through her lekku and hear it in her voice. "I have a proposition, and you're going to want to hear it."


	3. Chapter 3 - A New Counselor

**Installment 3 – A New Counselor**

After Jinx saved me from local law enforcement, she dragged me to an open air restaurant. By open air restaurant, I meant a food cart where a local was frying up mystery meat and dishing out an oddly fragrant stew. He had a few tables set up around him, which was where Jinx and I ended up.

I started to eat the stew, it was actually pretty good, and my head was starting to clear. Jinx wouldn't tell me what her proposal was, said I was still too drunk to remember anything anyway. She was distracted, picked at her meat on a stick.

"Seriously, kid. What gives?" The look she shot me caught me off guard.

"Don't call me kid." She hissed, punctuating each word. Jinx's gold colored eyes shone as she glared at me. I hadn't really noticed before, but her eyes contrasted against her dark blue skin was striking. She held her gaze, lekku twitching slightly.

I dropped my spoon and held up my hands in surrender. "Okay, sorry…..um, Jinx."

Her expression softened a bit, as did her voice. But her eyes maintained contact and intensity. "Here's what's going to happen, Mr. Tesig. You're going to take a break from drinking for a few days. Then you're going to come back to the clinic and see the new counselor that got here a few weeks ago. I'll send you the appointment reminder."

I shook my head. "Why would I want to see another….."

"…because this one's good. That's why. And she cares." Her eyes started to relax. "And I think that you care, too. Otherwise, you wouldn't have stuck with it coming by for as long as you did."

I leaned back in my chair, still buzzing drunk but coherent. What was her angle? I nodded, "Go on."

"Look, I know that most of the counselors we have are crap. And I see you guys, and my own people, that had to live under the Empire, trying to heal. It makes me sad." She finally broke eye contact, her eyes glazing over a bit. "It was hard for me here. I've never known much else. I just…." She trailed off.

I raised my eyebrows and leaned forward. "And?"

Jinx snapped out of it. "And, that's it." She stood up, placing both hands on the table and leaned towards me. "Sober up, come to the appointment, and then we'll talk more." She paused, glanced me up and down, wrinkled her nose, and then almost smiled. "And for all of our sakes, take a shower."

With that she shoved off the table, clicked her tongue, winked, and pointed at me all in the same motion, and dodged effortlessly into the crowd. A second later, I was handed the bill.

Which brings me to the present. Three days later I'm sober, showered, and sitting across from the new counselor. Her name was Dr. Paree Mindaat. She was human, but perhaps something else as well. Couldn't quite put my finger on it. Her slightly yellowish skin was highlighted by a series of small geometric tattoos that traversed the bridge of her nose and trailed off along her cheek bones. A diamond shaped collection of inverted squares sat prominently upon her forehead. She was about mid aged, and had a quiet confidence about her. We had engaged in casual conversation upon coming in. I told her about my job and a bit of my history of where I had been and what I had done during the war. She briefly explained that she previously worked at a New Republic veterans hospital in Darropolis on Hosnian Prime. She also casually mentioned that she was half Miniloan and half human. Since then, we had been sitting across from each other for a few uncomfortable moments.

"Not going to lie, Doc. I'm not too thrilled to be here," I began.

She nodded and smiled. "I know. Jinx informed me as much. She said that you have not had much luck with the care you've been receiving here."

I snorted. "That's an understatement. None of the others really seemed to care. Not to be rude, but how are you different? I mean, other than you're obviously older than the others."

Dr. Mindaat chuckled softly. "I am older, yes." She paused for a moment. "Ryloth is very distant from the core regions. The New Republic is still trying to work things out. Growing pains. Jinx tells me you've been more or less persistent, however."

I shrugged. "I guess, passes the time in between jobs and shifts."

"She tells me I'm your fourth counselor"

I could feel my agitation level starting to rise. "She's pays too much attention."

Dr. Mindaat's smile faded a bit. "Good thing she does, otherwise you may still be locked up. Lessu security has been cracking down on non Twi'lek extra curricular activities. Part of their efforts to assert control now that they're free again. Average stay in lock up for your transgression is running five days, along with a nice fine. You owe her a thanks."

That was new information, and it made me embarrassed that I had spoken harshly to her leading up to my eviction from the bar. I rubbed my face, sighing. "Fair enough."

The Miniloan pulled an actual pad of paper and a writing utensil from somewhere besides her chair. Paper? She glanced up and must have noticed my look as she jotted down a few notes.

"Yes, this is paper. I learned to write when I was very young and carried it into my studies later on. I find it easier to organize my thoughts this way, then transfer my notes to a data pad. Also, written word is traditional here on Ryloth. The locals appreciate it, as do I."

"Whatever you say, Doc. How are you different, again?"

She ignored the question. "Why do you keep coming back?"

"I don't know," I replied with a nonchalant shrug. "I have flash backs, episodes. I want to get rid of them. Counseling is free. Here I am."

She was looking down, taking notes. "And if it wasn't free?" She finished her writing and looked at me, awaiting a response.

What happened to 'just breathe' I thought, suddenly longing for the previous disinterested counselors. "Hard to say, honestly."

She went back to writing, "Tell me about your flashbacks."

"Well, usually they are me remembering something….."

"I'm sorry," she cut me off. "Let me clarify the question. We will deal with the content of your flashbacks later. For now, tell me what they do to you."

It caught me off guard. "Oh, okay. Well, sometimes I can feel them coming. Other times it's like getting ambushed. Usually it's a thought, or a smell or sound that sets it off. The world just blacks out, and it's like watching a holonet video. I struggle to breath, my heart goes off the charts. One time I was afraid I was going to piss myself. Time is irrelevant though, for this. Sometimes they only last a few minutes, sometimes they go for nearly an hour. That's what really scares me. I can't tell the time lapse until I'm able to come out of it. One of these times it's going to happen on the job and I'm going to get myself or someone else really hurt."

Dr. Mindaat was writing swiftly. Not looking up, she asked, "Did anything like this ever happen before the war?"

I paused, grasping around for a response. She looked up from her notes, face impassive.

"Mr. Tesig?"

She was different, I realized. Searching for words, I glanced around the office, then took a deep breath.

"Yes," I replied softly. "Not as often. But I did have them."

She smiled softly and put down her writing utensil. "Thank you, Mr. Tesig. I feel like you're being honest, and that's important. You're invested in this, as I hope you realize I am as well."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I simply nodded, suddenly realizing that time was up. It was the first time that I had sat through an entire session.

Dr. Mindaat stood up and ushered me towards the door. "We're going to talk about before the war next time. Thank you for coming in. Make sure you set up your next appointment with Jinx before you leave."

Heading for the door, I managed to find my voice. "Thanks, Doc. I guess I'll see you next time."

Down the hall, Jinx was sitting at the reception desk, engrossed in a data pad. I walked up to the desk. Jinx didn't look up. She was either that oblivious or ignoring me.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, Jinx? I'm done."

She looked up with a smile, as if the previous day's events had not occurred. "Oh hello, Mr. Tesig. Same time next week?"

"Yeah, sure. That will do."

She nodded and then returned her attention to the data pad.

I started to turn to leave, then paused.

"Look, Jinx. I um, I'm sorry that I wasn't so nice to you earlier. And thank you for helping me out the other day. The Doc said that you really stuck your neck out for me. I'm not sure how you managed to find me when you did. But…thanks." I shuffled my feet and looked down, I wasn't very good at this.

She looked up again, that same smile as if nothing was amiss. "Sure thing."

"So, you going to tell me what this proposal or project or whatever is that you were talking about?"

Her expression didn't change, but her eyes intensified. Just barely noticeable. "Nope. I'll see you next week, Mr. Tesig."

Jinx went back to her data pad. The conversation was over. I rolled my eyes and headed out the door. The light was fading on Lessu. I felt off, something was different. What did that weird paper writing half breed from the inner core do to me? I walked towards my apartment, which was also the way towards the drinking establishments. After a few moments I came to the intersection between the two. Left was home. Right was alcohol.

"To hell with it," I said aloud, to no one but myself. I turned right.


	4. Chapter 4 - Origins

**Installment 4 – Origins**

A week later and I found myself back in the counselor's office. Jinx checked me in with her usual smile and cheerfulness. However, she was still not forthcoming regarding her "proposal" that she mentioned when she plucked me off the street.

The scratching of Dr. Mindaat's writing utensil was strange to listen to as she jotted down a few notes before looking up at me.

"I'm going to ask you to close your eyes, and picture a blue dot. That blue dot is going to move from left to right. I want you to keep your eyes closed, but follow the motion of the dot back and forth."

I furrowed my brow at Dr. Mindaat. "Huh?"

She smiled slightly. "Humor me, Mr. Tesig. It is a technique I picked up back on Hosnian Prime."

I closed my eyes, conjured up a dot in my mind's eye, and then proceeded to make it dance back and forth. Moving my eyes behind closed lids felt a bit odd, but I humored her.

"Now, try to clear your mind of all else and just concentrate on the dot. Do not respond verbally to my instructions from this point forward. Simply follow my words."

I shrugged and nodded slightly, then almost smirked to myself. She didn't say anything about physical responses.

"Calm your mind, Mr. Tesig. Take deep breaths through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. This will help."

I did as she instructed a couple of times. I could feel my body relaxing, almost tingling. She was definitely better than the previous docs.

"Now, I want you to center the dot. Then, let it fade away. Feel yourself in a warm blanket of darkness. You are safe and secure. Let yourself sink into the warmth."

I would have been startled had I not been so relaxed. It felt like a humid fog had been placed over my mind. The warmth permeated every part of my body. My breathing was calm and even. The real world was lost to me, Dr. Mindaat's voice trailing away. I could hear her talking, but couldn't understand the words. Suddenly, I noticed what felt like a soothing hand on my shoulder, and Dr. Mindaat's voice came back.

"Tell me how it happened."

Tell you how what happened?

"Tell me when the flash backs, and anxiety attacks started."

It was after my father died.

"Can you show me?"

Show you? Then the replay in my mind started, and I was the narrator.

"_We are going to service the solar fusion assembly today. Do you remember why?" My father was standing in front of me, staring down with his arms crossed. His expression was the familiar combination of sternness, kindness, and a glint of amusement. He always wore it when quizzing me on maintenance procedures._

_ I tried to picture the schematic of the TIE that I studied the night before. "Um, the solar fusion assembly controls the…."_

_ "Controls the what?"_

_ "It controls." Fists tightening, oh yeah! "It controls the rate of flow from the solar energy collected by the wings to the ion engine!"_

_ "Very good, but you didn't answer my question."_

_ I returned his gaze with a smile. "So we have to inspect the assembly to make sure that there is no carbon build up in any of the transistor components or batteries."_

_ "You are correct. But again, why? Why do we care about carbon build up?"_

_ I closed my eyes, thinking again of the schematic and the workings of the TIE Starfighter. Picturing it in my mind dodging through space. "If there is too much carbon build up, then it will start to restrict the flow of energy to the ion engine."_

_ "And?"_

_ "And….if it doesn't get enough energy, it won't fly as good? Oh! And also the laser cannons won't fire as well, because they draw their power from the solar wings too!" I opened my eyes and looked up at my father. _

_ He held his expression for a moment, then broke into his trademark staccato laugh. "That's right. Good job, Thack. You're picking this up well. Nicely done, kiddo."_

_ My smile got even wider and a small giggle escaped me. My father had only started bringing me into the hanger maintenance bay a few months ago. I spent the previous years getting quizzed on the basics of starship maintenance, hyper drive diagnostics, flight control systems, you name it. All while keeping my father's tool inventory clean and organized. You have to inventory your tools before and after each work day, he explained. If a sprocket or Harris wrench gets left on a star craft you're working on, it can damage it in flight, maybe even cause a crash. Finally, he deemed me ready for real work._

_ "Okay, Thack. Disconnect the assembly from the engines and we'll get to work." He walked off to the hanger bay supervisor's office, leaving me alone._

_ I nodded and skipped over to the TIE. It was sitting in its docking struts. I was told that TIE's normally stayed in the massive Star Destroyer's, hanging from giant overhead rails. I had a hard time imagining a starship so massive, but it made sense considering how powerful my father told me the Empire was. Stationed planet side, special docking struts had been developed for the wings to sit in so that they were not damaged from the overall weight of the TIE. _

_ Standing there, the TIE was at once both small and compact, yet powerful and intimidating. I couldn't imagine anyone trying to fly against it. I had grown up on transports, going from planet to planet. My father was contracted by the Empire to help service their star fighters and larger ships on the Outer Rim. The Empire found it more efficient to hire civilians rather than station their military so far out to support the fleet._

_ My father emerged from the supervisor's office and made his way over to me. "Okay, let's get to work. Go ahead and pull the energy bleed valve and we'll get going."_

_ I walked up under the TIE and pulled down the maintenance panel, exposing the solar fusion assembly. The red lever to pull for the energy bleed stared back at me. As I reached up and began to pull it, a quick thought entered my head. Did I disconnect the assembly from the engine? What happens if I don't disconnect the…?"_

_ My father screamed at me. "Thackeray, NO!"_

_ I froze, then heard the low bass growl of a sudden energy discharge._

_ "Thack!" My father yelled again._

_ I felt him grab the collar of my coveralls and spin me around, I caught a glimpse of the panic in his eyes. Then he collapsed his body around me. The low growl erupted into an explosion. My father grunted, then went limp. I could feel his weight upon me. The heat was unbearable._

_ Gasping for air. "I can't breathe."_

_ No response._

_ "Father?"_

_ I still couldn't breathe, my lungs were being crushed. The smell of burning chemicals, hair, and flesh invaded my nose and instantly sent my head into excruciating pain._

"Mr. Tesig?" A voice was calling out to me.

"Hello? Father?" I replied.

"Mr. Tesig, you are in my office. Can you hear me?" The same voice again, calm and even.

"Father, get up. I can't breathe!" No response. His weight pinned me down.

"Open your eyes." The voice asked, persistent.

"I'm sorry, father! I'm so sorry!" I screamed, desperate for a response.

"Thackeray!" My head jarred. My face smarted.

"Mr. Tesig, please!" A different voice, this one pleading, was calling to me.

I opened my eyes, and the world came rushing back to me. The smells were gone, but my head still throbbed. Dr. Mindaat had her hands on my shoulders, staring intently at me. We were standing. I glanced hurriedly around the office. My chair was overturned. A glass jar that previously held a plant was broken on the floor. Jinx was standing next to me, holding my arm. There were tears in her eyes.

"I, what happened?" I started shaking. The memory of the day my father died suddenly felt as real as if it had happened yesterday. The grief and guilt seared my mind.

Jinx let go of my arm and righted the chair I had been sitting in, quickly wiping her eyes in the process. She then quietly went about cleaning up the broken glass. Dr. Mindaat gently but firmly guided me back into the chair before releasing my shoulders and returning to her seat. Jinx finished her task left the room, gently closing the door behind her.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. How old were you when your father passed away?" Her expression had returned to its calm evenness.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep the pain in my chest at bay. "Twelve."

"I'm sorry, that must have been hard."

I couldn't meet her gaze, I was afraid she'd see right through me. "It was my fault," I whispered.

"You were a child. It was a mistake."

My chest was about to explode, I was going to lose it.

"Um, look Doc. I have to go. I'm sorry, I can't, I mean." I couldn't get any words out that made sense. I stood up and made for the door. "I have to go."

"Mr. Tesig, wait!" Dr. Mindaat called after me, rising to follow. I ignored her and entered the hallway. Rounding the corner towards the exit, I ran headlong into Jinx.

I started to apologize and push past her, but her eyes locked onto mine, freezing me in place. A few tear trails had dried on her cheek. Jinx placed a hand center on my chest, eyes looking up at me in gentle defiance. They were filled with sadness. I could feel my own eyes starting to tear up.

"Jinx, I have to go," I muttered and stepped to the side to go around her.

She stepped as well, remaining in front of me. Hand still on my chest, gently holding me in place.

"Stay." She whispered.

I couldn't hold it together any longer, I could feel myself starting to break down. My knees buckled and I leaned up against the wall, letting it guide me to the floor, fighting for air as I felt the sobs coming on. Jinx dropped down with me, placing her other hand on my shoulder and resting her forehead against the top of my head.

After what seemed like an eternity, I calmed down enough to where I didn't feel like I was suffocating. Jinx stood up and took my hand, guiding me to my feet. She then led me back into Dr. Mindaat's office.


	5. Chapter 5 - Holding the Past

**Chapter 5 – Holding the Past**

Dr. Mindaat stood by silently as I let Jinx guide me back to the office and into my chair.

"You okay, Mr. Tesig?" asked Jinx, looking down on me with genuine concern. I simply nodded in response. She gave me a smile, squeezed my shoulder, and then walked out of the office, closing the door again behind her.

Dr. Mindaat took her seat across from me, a concerned look on her face. "Mr. Tesig, how do you feel?"

"Like someone just dropped an astromech droid on me," I replied. The emotions running through me were raw and sharp. Shame. Embarrassment. Followed by anger starting to creep in. Rubbing my eyes, I looked across at her. "You know, a little warning would have been nice that you were planning on running me down that nice chunk of memory lane."

She smiled apologetically. "I am sorry. It was a calculated risk. I wanted to see where you would go without any coaching or encouragement. However, it was as I expected. A traumatic event from your early youth."

"Well, there you go," I replied dryly. Then, a thought hit me. "Wait a minute, Doc. You told me to not respond verbally when you were making me watch that stupid blue dot."

She smiled and nodded. "I did, yes."

"So, how did you know what to ask for? It was almost like you knew the answer before you even asked."

Her smile morphed into a slightly amused expression. "As I said, I suspected that you had undergone a traumatic event early in your life. I simply asked the probing questions, and you did the rest."

I was not convinced. "But, you said 'show me.' How…"

Dr. Mindaat cut me off, her face turning back to the professional, stern look. "I did, but I did not mean it literally. I knew that in your state of meditative hypnosis, you would see the events play out, as I'm sure you have relived many times over the course of your life. You narrated to me, very precisely I may add, all the details of the event."

I stared back at her, still trying to process all that had occurred and how she was recounting the episode from her point of view. "I, was speaking? I don't remember actually talking. It was like watching a holovid. Just like a regular flashback."

She nodded slightly and continued. "You spoke of the hanger where you were going to work on the TIE fighter. You described how excited you were to be finally helping your father. He quizzed you on the procedure that you were going to help him on." Her voice softened slightly. "How he sacrificed himself to save you. And that you blame yourself for his death because of your mistake. You did not disconnect the," she glanced down at her notes, "solar fusion assembly from the ion engines?"

I looked down at my hands in my lap. I could feel my chest tightening again. "It was my fault," I said quietly. "You have to bleed the solar batteries in the fusion assembly before servicing it. But, if you don't disconnect the assembly from the engines, then any residual charge in the batteries goes straight to the engine. If there's enough charge, it causes the engine to overload and explode. It was a design flaw in the early variants of the TIE's. Empire didn't bother trying to upgrade the legacy fighters, they just updated the follow on production series and left the legacy TIE's out on the fleet."

I looked back up. "Maintenance processes were updated, but that was about it."

Dr. MIndaat was taking notes again. "Do you think your father would blame you?" she asked without looking up.

"Yes? No. I don't know," I sighed heavily in response. "A mechanic checks, and double checks, before carrying out a procedure. Especially when not doing so can result in something like this."

She stopped scribbling on her pad and looked up. "Was he not the more experienced mechanic in this case? The teacher?"

I nodded. "He was."

"Then was it not his responsibility to ensure that you had, in fact, executed the proper steps prior to telling you to pull the bleed valve?" Her look was confident.

I paused, unsure how to respond. "I, well. He trusted me to do it right. Why wouldn't he think I could handle something so simple?" Staring across at her, Dr. Mindaat's gaze softened yet again. I could feel my body relaxing slightly, almost as if I was being soothed by an unseen presence.

"Mr. Tesig, as I said before. You were a child. It was a mistake. From the brief description I have of your father, it sounds like he was a very competent mechanic. So much so that the Empire employed him to service their starfighters. Is it possible that he would assign the blame to himself, for not properly supervising you? Before you answer, consider your time since as a mechanic, especially during the War."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was able to get a copy of your military record from the veteran's hospital at Darropolis. You left service as a senior mechanic, responsible for training and supervising those that were less proficient. With all your experience, and knowing your father, can you allow the possibility that your father would not blame you for his death?"

I took another deep breath and put my hands on my head, looking up to the ceiling for answers. "I hear what you're saying, Doc. I've played that logic loop myself." I dropped my hands back into my lap and returned her look. "But, my conclusions always come back to me. I should have known better."

She leaned forward and chewed on the end of her writing utensil. Speaking softly, "Can you allow the possibility that he would not blame you because he loved you, and that he would not want you to carry this burden?"

I had considered this before, but always pushed it down, not wanting to push the burden on to his memory. It made no sense, but in my mind it made things easier.

Before I could respond, Dr. Mindaat continued. "In the time between now and our next meeting, will you consider those possibilities?"

I shook my head in exasperation, trying to clear my thoughts. "Sure Doc, I'll give it another look. One condition though. Next time you want to dig into my head, just ask, okay?"

She smiled, vaguely apologetically this time. "Sometimes an old would needs to be picked and allowed to bleed a bit before it can be truly healed. But, point taken. Fair enough, Mr. Tesig. I will see you next week. I am sorry about earlier, but I feel like we have made significant process today. Please, make sure you check in with Jinx on your way out. I imagine she'll want to know that you are okay."

I got up and walked out of the office in a general state of agitation, teetering dangerously close to outright anger. What the hell does that inner rim mind slicing quack know anyway, I was muttering internally to myself. This has all been a giant load of mynock shit. Waste of time.

"What was that about mynocks?" Jinx asked.

"What? " I paused, a bit startled, and looked up. Jinx was sitting at her desk, looking at me with an empathetic smile. In my apparent not so internalized state of ranting I had walked right up to her desk without realizing it.

Her eyes danced a bit. "You were talking to yourself, something about mynocks? They're tasty you know, when done right."

I smirked in annoyance. "Never mind. Doc said to make another appointment, though I'm not sure I want to anymore."

Her smile held firm. "I already have you booked. And yes, of course you want to see her again. I know it's painful, Mr. Tesig. But it gets better. I promise."

I glared at her. What did this kid know about getting better? What did she know about anything? "Gets better, huh? We'll see." My agitation subsided slightly as I remembered what had happened only a short time ago. "Look, thanks for earlier. I was in a rough spot, but I'm glad you kept me here. I'm just not sure how much I want to get into this overall. I just want the flashbacks to stop. And maybe get some sleep."

"You are welcome for earlier, Mr. Tesig," she replied, eyes moistening slightly with the memory. "I'm glad you stayed."

I didn't know how to respond. Her gold infused eyes locked onto mine. Unable to hold her gaze, I looked off to the side, then down, shoving my hands deep into my coverall pockets. "Look kid. Sorry, Jinx. Look, I have to get going. Big job tomorrow working on some fancy star yacht. Full over haul and the owner wants it done quick time. Early start, late finish."

Turning to leave, she hopped up, grabbing her bag and joining me from behind her desk. "Cool, you'll need a good meal then. Come on, let's get some dinner. I'm off anyway. Dr. Mindaat cut me loose for the rest of the day. Said she had some personal matters to tend to."

"Jinx, I'm really not up for company right now. Seriously, I'd rather be alone. Don't you have friends or family or something to hang out with off the clock? A boyfriend maybe? A pet?" I was exhausted, this was making me more exhausted.

She gave me a quick wink and a smile. Jinx seemed to be returning to her usual annoying self. "I've seen the company you keep. You could use the upgrade. Besides, I'll do most of the talking. Remember that proposition I told you about? Well, some of your cards are on the table, whether you know it or not. I think it's fair to put some of mine down."

Shrugging, I simply followed along. "Fine, but I'm not paying for your food this time. And whatever you were saying about mynocks being tasty earlier, the answer is no. Damned space vermin, don't even get me started."

She laughingly replied, heading out onto the streets of Lessu with me in tow. "Your loss, Mr. Tesig. Come on, I know a place where we can have some privacy." With that she stepped out on a brisk pace. I followed a few unenthusiastic steps behind, suddenly curious what the young Twi'lek had up her sleeve.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Proposition

**Chapter 6 – The Proposition**

Jinx led me to a hole in the wall bar not too far from the Lessu space port maintenance docks. I was surprised I had not wandered upon it before. However, seeing as I was the only non Twi'lek present, I quickly got the impression is was a "locals only" establishment. An older female Twi'lek was behind the bar and gave me a hard look when we first entered. However, Jinx gave her a subtle hand wave which received an imperceptible nod in response. Taking a small booth towards the back, we were barely seated when the bartender put drinks in front of us. Jinx got an iced tea that gave off mild aromas from local herbs. I got a pint of what I identified as a local ale. However, at first sip I immediately noticed something different than what I was used to. It had a more bitter taste. Despite the bite, it had a surprisingly smooth finish.

Jinx took a small sip of her tea and smiled at me over her glass. "Don't worry Mr. Tesig. There's nothing wrong with your drink."

I shot a quick sideward glance towards the bartender. "You sure? It doesn't look like off world types are all that welcome here." I took another small sip. "Besides, it tastes like Lessu Ale, but not quite."

She smiled again. "What you all drink in the regular places is a poor excuse for alcohol. It's basically a bastardized version of Feen Ale. Made from the fruit. You've heard of it, right?"

I shook my head. Jinx rolled her eyes. "Really, Mr. Tesig? How long have you been here and you've never heard of the feen fruit?"

"Between work, the clinic, and hanging out at the "regular" places, as you like to call them, I don't get out much." I leaned back, still not recovered from the earlier session, and still thin on patience.

Jinx sighed and set her tea down. "Well, the Feen Ale you have in front of you is probably the best in town. That I promise." She cocked her head towards he bartender, who was still shooting me suspicious glances. "Old Sienn home brews her own private recipe. It's a family tradition for her, almost snuffed out during the Empire days. She keeps it alive, and under close guard. As I'm sure you can appreciate."

I nodded in response. It made sense. Growing impatient, I decided to press the issue. "Ok, Jinx. You said something about cards, and I'm guessing this isn't a sabacc game you're talking about. What's the deal?"

Her smile faded and she took a deep breath. "The clinic is shutting down. Dr. Mindaat and I have about a week left. Since Ryloth is not joining the New Republic, they're cutting the funds to keep it open. There is plenty of need for clinics like this across the galaxy for systems that are part of the new government. Therefore, we're on our own. The local government isn't interested in keeping it open either. While many of the elders appreciate the aid received by the Rebel Alliance during the occupation, they are also turning insular. Ryloth and Twi'leks first. Also, many of them are old enough to remember the Clone Wars. They feel Ryloth has too often been caught in the cross fire of conflicts that have little to do with Ryloth itself. They're not wrong in that."

What she said rattled me more than I expected. "But, the Doc just got here. Why would she accept a transfer all the way out here? They had to know that the clinic was on the chopping block."

"They did know," replied Jinx. "Dr. Mindaat knew. She wanted to come anyway. I had been in touch with her about a month prior to her coming out."

I furrowed my brow. "Why do I get the idea you're more than just an office assistant?"

She shot a look of defiance across at me. "What, you think I want to stay in that crap job forever? I have plans, you know. Things I have to do. That job was just a way to earn credits. Better that than become an entertainer in some shady dance den. Not a whole lot of opportunity around here for someone like me, if you haven't noticed."

I hadn't considered that. "Yeah, I have. Sorry, Jinx. I…"

She waived her hand, cutting me off. "I did make one mistake though. It was obvious that the people the New Republic were sending out to provide counseling were either unqualified, uninterested, or both. The clinic was supposed to help all veterans, both off world vets and Twi'leks alike. But things were so disorganized that all the locals quickly gave up on it. For weeks, I watched off world vets coming in to get help, only to abandon hope. A lot of them really needed help, worse shape than you. I felt so bad for them I started to complain."

I nodded. I was starting to see her in a different light. She continued.

"As you can imagine, every communique I sent off just got lost or re-routed through the bureaucracy. Eventually, I found my way to Dr. Mindaat. And we started talking. After a while, she said that she wanted to come out. See for herself."

"I'm confused, why would she come out here if she knew the place was closing?" Then a thought hit me that made me a bit angry. "And why would you insist that I come back to the clinic knowing it was shutting down?"

"I didn't know," she shot back. "Not until she got here. Dr. Mindaat spent a couple of days looking things over, then sat us all down and broke the news to us. The counselor that you had seen prior to her up and quit immediately. The other two agreed to see out their patient list to let them know before they left."

I was getting more annoyed with the lack of transparency of where this story was going. "I was just another patient, Jinx. You may have not known when she got here, but you had to have known that day you found me outside the bar. Tell me I'm wrong, huh? What does this have to do with me?" I said the last part loudly. The bartender called Sienn glared at me, but I ignored it.

"Keep your voice down," Jinx pleaded, sending an apologetic glance towards Sienn. "I'm getting there. This is important."

I took a long drink of my Feen Ale. "Fine, but make it quick. Like I said, I have a long day tomorrow."

She took another sip of her own drink before continuing. "I did know when I found you that night. You're not wrong. But I really wanted you to see Dr. Mindaat for two reasons. One, is that I was genuinely concerned for you. I had done some research, and she has a legit resume. Of all the people that came in, you were one of the only people that ever paid any attention to me, was nice to me."

I snorted. She narrowed her eyes at me, then rolled them. "Please, get over yourself," she said. Her tone was a cross between mocking and exacerbation. "Not like that. Besides, you're not my type."

"Whatever, kid." I retorted, shrugging my shoulders and taking another drink. I purposely called her kid, knowing it would get under her skin. She didn't seem to notice.

"The other reason, Mr. Tesig," she said my name with a bit more mocking, "is that I needed to keep you close. You see, I'm leaving soon. And I want to hire you."

"Hire me, for what?" She ignored my question.

"I've been planning it for a while. I want to buy a ship, or hire one. Not sure yet. But I have a lot of credits saved up. Plus I inherited some from my mother. I need to find someone, someone that I knew during the occupation. I have a few leads. We can maybe pick up some credits along the way doing some quick cargo runs or something. Plus, you can keep seeing Dr. Mindaat."

I looked at her incredulously. "How am I going to keep seeing the Doc while I'm off gallivanting around the galaxy with you? And how do I fit into this whole, halfcocked adventure you have in mind?"

Jinx leaned forward, her expression serious. "She's coming with me. I'm not sure why, she hasn't told me. But, I told her about my plan. And that was when she told me she was coming out, that she was interested maybe joining me."

I leaned forward as well, my anger and annoyance giving way to curiosity. "Why do you need me?"

Jinx held her ground. "You're a mechanic. If I buy a ship, chances are it won't be in the best condition. If I hire one, I'll need you to tell me if whomever is piloting the heap is on the up and up. And, you've been all over the galaxy. You fought in the War. You have experience that I don't. I've never left Ryloth. I need someone that can help keep me out of trouble. Don't you feel stuck here anyway? I mean, you grew up on ships."

That last part, my eyes narrowed. How did she know that? The second she said it, Jinx knew she had screwed up. "Mr. Tesig, I…" Her eyes went wide as glared at are her from across the table.

"You read my file!" All I saw was red.

"If you'll just let me explain, I can…"

"Explain what you dammed little brat! What gives you the right, huh!" I slammed my drink on table and stood up. Jinx retreated into the corner of the booth, eyes wild.

"Please stop, I'm sorry!" She pleaded.

Under normal circumstances, I would have been taken aback by how quickly I had become this angry, this fast. These circumstances were not normal.

I turned to leave. My head jarred to the side, the room spun, and all went dark.

_ "They died because of you." My boss, Maintenance Chief of the Rebel Alliance to defeat the Empire Nera Kase, stood in her stained mechanics jumpsuit. Arms folded, looking down on me, her eyes screamed judgement._

_ She was right, the guilt smothered me. None the less I protested. "Nera, we did everything you asked!"_

_ "Really? Red Six's electrical system flared out right when he needed them. He died! I told you to go over that entire system. You said it was fully operational!" She unfolded her arms and placed them on her hips, eyes piercing right through me. _

_ I couldn't look away from her. "Nera, I swear!"_

_ "They died! It was your fault!" She screamed, eyes glowing red. "Darklighter, Dinnes, Branon, Surrel, Naeco…..Dreis!" The last name caused Kase to take a deep breath and clutch her side. "I trusted you with Red Squadron, even though you were new! You betrayed me!"_

_ I tried to look away, but I was paralyzed. "No, Nera!"_

"How hard did you hit him?" The voice was calm.

"Too hard, it appears." The responding voice was nonchalant.

"Who's Nera?" The first voice again, a bit of concern.

My head was rocking back and forth. I could still hear Nera screaming at me, though it was fading away. I couldn't see her anymore. My eyes were open but I couldn't see. "It's my fault. They all died, it's my fault."

"What's he talking about?" The second voice again.

"I think it's from the War." First voice.

Sight was starting to come back, there were two blurry images standing in front of me. One was short….."Nera?"

"Mr. Tesig, it's me. Jinx. You, you've been unconscious for a few minutes. How do you feel?"

I glanced around, starting to remember. Bar. Jinx. Anger. Lots of anger. "Jinx?"

"Mr. Tesig. I'm sorry about earlier, I just…" She was coming into more focus now. I recognized her gold eyes looking at me. Then I remembered.

"You read my file. You had no right," I muttered. I was getting angry again, but not as fast or violent as before. Now it was just a slow, festering burn.

"I know, I'm sorry." She was pleading, I wasn't having it.

"I'm out of here. Go to hell, kid." As I stood up, nausea engulfed me. I fell back into the booth seat they had propped me up in, closing my eyes and trying to will my stomach to settle.

"He pukes, you're cleaning it up." I opened my eyes to see Sienn rubbing her knuckles and looking at Jinx. "You brought him in here, he's your responsibility." She returned to her station behind the bar, apologizing to the couple of Twi'lek patrons along the way.

Jinx gave her a sidelong look then turned back to me. "Mr. Tesig, here. Drink some water."

I turned my head to one side, the sudden movement churning my stomach. "Leave me alone."

She put the glass down and sat across from me again. "Mr. Tesig. Please, just listen to me. You are right. I had no right to read your file. But I had to know. I had to know your background, if you could help. Dr. Mindaat would never let me have read it. I'm really sorry. Please believe me."

I just stared back at her. How hard did that damned bartender hit me? Or maybe it was that drink. Or both. It didn't matter. As soon as my stomach settled, I was leaving. It was a long day tomorrow, I needed to be rested.

"It's important, this thing I have to do. And I need your help. I can pay you, I can make it worth your while. I…." She was searching for words, her eyes looked desperately sad. "I'm sorry I made you mad. I'm sorry that I probably blew my chance to get you to come with me. I'm…just really sorry." She put her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands.

I still wanted to be mad. I was justified in being mad. But, it was fading away. I felt sorry for her, and I was slightly embarrassed with myself with losing my temper so quickly. I had been so raw from the counseling session, then so annoyed with her, it just came on me. Faster than I thought possible.

She wasn't exactly wrong though. I did grow up on ships. And I did feel stuck in Lessu. I did want to be back in the stars, on the move. Doing things, going places. It was all I knew, in either my childhood or adulthood.

"You could have just asked me." I said.

"Well," she said, looking up, "you aren't exactly chatty. And after that day I found you on the street, and outside the bar, I didn't think you'd ever give me the time of day." She buried her face back into her hands.

She's not wrong, I thought to myself. I probably would have told her to go break rocks.

"How soon?" I asked.

"I'm sorry?" Came the muffled response from Jinx.

"How soon until you leave?" I replied.

Her head popped up, eyes finding mine. "Um, well. The clinic shuts down in a week. I need to find a ship. I have a few ideas, but I was hoping you could help me with that. Two weeks maybe, if all goes right?"

I stood up, still a bit woozy but under control. "I want to talk with the Doc first. I'll let you know."

I made for the exit. Sienn watched me as I walked by, her expression unreadable. I gave her a nod as I left. She did not return it.

An hour later, I was back in my apartment. After a quick shower, some food, and meds for my still throbbing head and jaw, I laid in bed. Staring up at the ceiling, waiting for ever elusive sleep to find me. When I did find sleep, it was usually restless, or worse. Memories, regrets, reliving things I did not really want to relive.

I slowly faded off, thinking of the possibilities. A chance to go back to the stars. To help Jinx, annoying as she was. To be on the move again, seeing different worlds again.

Finally, sleep overcame me. It was mercifully uneventful.


	7. Chapter 7 - New Understandings

**Chapter 7 – New Understandings**

Dr. Paree Mindaat peered over her writing tablet at Thack Tesig. It had been almost a week since his last session, and he looked worse for his wear. He had mentioned that he was working double shifts at the space port. Something about a luxury yacht getting an over hall. The oily and disheveled coveralls that we wore would definitely attest to that story. And, thought Dr. Mindaat, it was most likely true he had been pulling double shifts. However, she suspected it was less about the overtime, and more about not wanting to face up to her and Jinx after the last session, and the incident at the bar. Mostly the incident at the bar.

Thack was fidgety. His right knee bounced as he glanced around the office. The usual five day growth of facial hair was in place, as was his short, unkempt dirty blond hair. Above average in height, Thack was on the skinny side, which made him look uncomfortably lanky sitting in the smallish office chair.

Dr. Mindaat took a deep breath and closed her eyes for an instant. The feelings coming off of him were erratic. Nervousness, anxiety, self-doubt, shame, frustration, and a lurking anger. And, hope.

Careful Paree, she thought to herself. He's close to the edge, give him an off ramp. Maybe start with some business first?

"Jinx informed me that she told you about the clinic closing?"

Thack regarded the counselor with his grey eyes and shrugged. "She mentioned it, yeah."

"And you also know of her desire to hire you?" she asked, knowing full well the answer, but wanting to guide him along.

Thack's leg stopped bouncing and he leaned forward a bit. "Yeah, she told me about her plan. She also told me about you. What's your story, Doc? No one takes a dead end job in the Outer Rim on purpose, then doubles down with following a kid around on some halfcocked Jawa chase."

Dr. Mindaat smiled inwardly. Straight to the point, then.

"I have my reasons," she replied. "Do you wish to take your session time to discuss this?"

"I do."

Dr. Mindaat put down her pencil and leaned back in her chair. "Very well then. My story is this. I do not approve of how this new government is taking care of the war veterans. They mainly want to treat the physical wounds, give them a therapy droid, and leave it at that. Mental health involves more than a therapy droid. I had long suspected things in the Outer Rim were bad on this topic. When Jinx contacted me, I took the opportunity to come out and see for myself."

Thack did not look convinced. "But you knew this place was closing."

He's been thinking on this, as suspected, Dr. Mindaat thought to herself. "I did know the clinic was to close, but I was not supposed to. I received a message in error that had an attachment. I opened the attachment anyway, even though it was not addressed to me. It was a list of proposed realignments of hospitals and other various services. Ryloth was identified as a closure. I suspect my superiors were going to use this as an opportunity to send me away. I am rather vocal when it comes to my opinions on this matter."

He snorted and leaned back in his chair. "Huh, I see where Jinx gets it then, looking at files you're not supposed to."

Paree suspected this may come up. "Yes, about that. It's ultimately my fault for not securing your file in a more proper fashion, though I had not anticipated my office assistant breaking that protocol. Regardless, I have spoken with her, and I do apologize for the breach in your privacy."

She detected a slight calming in Thack. He had come in highly agitated, but the fight seemed to be ebbing from him.

He shrugged and looked off to the side. "Whatever, it's done. Not like I have much to hide anyway. So you answered why you wanted to come out here, but to what end? You've confirmed it's a shit show. Great, but now you're out of a job."

"It was also Jinx's plan that brought me." She sat down her writing pad, leaning forward. "I have an idea that may help war veterans and locals alike. It involves setting up local clinics with buy in from local governments. It relieves the new government of oversight responsibilities, thus significantly reducing costs. However, I believe that by coordinating with the local systems, quality can actually improve. Especially, if the counselors are local as well. If I can give the government an alternative that's effective, but much less expensive, then they may not cut everything all together. This plan cannot be enacted from an office on Hosnian Prime. Thus, when Jinx provided me the opportunity to visit multiple systems in the Outer Rim, I jumped at it.

Thack stared across at the Doctor intently, but still seemed unconvinced. "Huh."

Dr. Mindaat smiled in spite of herself. "Besides, I've never really taken well to larger cities. I prefer to be away from all of that turmoil and politics."

He placed his hands behind his head. "So, you think I should sign on to this then?"

She shrugged in response. "Ultimately, the decision rests with you. However, if I may say something on her behalf. Jinx is also a patient of mine. She has been through a lot. Her life here during the occupation was not easy. Your outbursts take a significant toll on her. This latest one in particular. I believe her intentions are good, even if her ends may not exactly justify the means. She does genuinely care about you. She is very empathetic and caring across the board. Regardless of what you decide, please take it easy on her. Cut Jinx some slack, and try to mind your temper around her."

He stared back at her and lowered his arms. The angst had been completely drained from him, and Dr. Mindaat sensed regret and sadness in him. He doesn't think that far past himself, thought Dr. Mindaat. But when he is shown, it hits him hard. Thack seemed to be struggling to respond.

"How bad?" he managed.

Pretty bad, she thought to herself before responding. "I cannot get into details, but let me just say I am surprised at how well adjusted she is, all things considered.

"That bad, huh?" Thack seemed to be shrinking in his chair. Dr. Mindaat nodded.

He was deep in thought for a moment, then he looked up. "How much time do we have left?"

An interesting question. "About a half an hour. I'm afraid I cannot run over today, I am seeing my patients for the last time this afternoon. Also, if you do not join us, then this will be our last official session, as I'm sure you have surmised at this point. With that being said, I do have a question for you, of which I would be remiss if I did not ask."

"As long as you aren't digging too deep into my head, Doc. It's been a rough couple of days." He responded dryly. Dr. Mindaat could sense his internal walls fortifying.

"Not a dig, Mr. Tesig. More of a poke. Last time you were here, I asked you to consider the possibility that your father would not blame you for his death. That he would not want you to carry that burden. Have you given it any thought?"

She felt the walls harden immediately. He was agitated again almost instantly. It may have been only a poke, but it had found a nerve. Paree immediately tried to reach out, to calm.

Thack sat up straight and leaned forward a bit. "I have thought a bit on the subject, as a matter of fact. The professional mechanic in me says that yes, he would not blame me. The child, not so much. It isn't that easy, Doc. Did you expect me to suddenly just have this moment where I could just let that go?" His voice was slightly raised, but it was not out of anger. It was out of pain and a desire to be free of it.

Paree felt the sudden shift in emotion from him, angst to anger to sadness and trailing off to….hope again? Interesting.

"I did not expect that of you, Mr. Tesig. Of course not." The Doctor leaned forward slightly as well, locking onto the grey eyes across from her. "But, that small acknowledgement right there is a step towards accepting it wholly. I would count that as progress, Mr. Tesig. I want you to know that, and I hope that you can see and appreciate that. Ultimately, it is you that has to do the heavy lifting in your journey. I merely provide some tools and direction along the way."

Thack placed his hands behind his head again and looked at the ceiling. Then looked back across at his counselor, releasing his hands to the chair's arms. Straightening a bit, he seemed to suddenly come to a decision. "If I go, you'll keep working with me?

"I will."

"Will I have to pay you directly then?"

Dr. Mindaat chuckled. "I'm sure that we can work something out, Mr. Tesig."

He changed the subject. "My temper has gotten pretty bad lately. I don't like it."

"It is to be expected. In this past month we have touched on subjects that have not seen the light of day for a long time. I have some meditation exercises from my home world that have been helpful to others. I can run you through some of them now, and have Jinx forward them to you for your own use later. Also, do you have any hobbies that set your mind at ease?"

He smiled. "Besides drinking?"

Dr. Mindaat smirked in response. "Yes, besides drinking."

He shrugged, the smiled fading to a grin. "No, not really."

"Very well, then." She replied, rising from her seat. "Stand up and push your chair back, I will guide you through a couple of routines. Also, I want you to come by tomorrow, whatever your decision with Jinx. Can you do that?"

He replied nonchalantly as he pushed back his chair. "Sure thing, Doc. I'll swing by in the morning before my shift."

I made my way down the hall way from Dr. Mindaat's office feeling better than when I walked in. The exercises she had were a combination of deep breaths and stretching and what not. I thought it extremely corny at first. But, turns out it worked. I wondered why she hadn't started me on this in the first place.

I was surprised though. I had come in spoiling for a fight. I knew it was likely the last appointment, and I was upset at Dr. Mindaat for the same reason I had been mad at Jinx. If everyone knew the clinic was closing, then why was everyone so adamant about me coming around? If nothing was going to get fixed then what was the point? Deep down, I knew that this anger wasn't exactly rational. However, after the incident at the bar earlier in the week with Jinx, I was not exactly in a rational mood. But, the thought of finally finding someone who could potentially help me, just to have them taken away, hurt and angered me at the same time. It made me lose hope. Hope was one of the few things that had gotten me through the war. Hope, and the extreme fear of letting my pilots down. Having that taken away now was just too much.

When I neared the end of the hall towards Jinx's desk, I paused slightly. I felt really bad about her, and the way that I had treated her. I had never really given much thought as to what Jinx may have been through. Truth be told, I did not really think past my own issues when it came to the clinic. Which made sense, on the surface. But, it did not entitle me to be a jerk. The brief peace that I had found in Dr. Mindaat's office gave way to nervous energy.

Rounding the corner, Jinx was packing up boxes, getting ready for the closure of the clinic.

"Hi, Jinx. You need a hand with anything?" I ventured. Weak, but it was a start.

She did not look up at me. "No, I'm fine. Thank you."

I shoved my hands deep into my coveralls. "Um, okay. Doc said that you would forward some things to me? Some meditation stuff?"

Jinx still did not look up, and continued throwing things into boxes. "Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

I decided to just go all in. "Look Jinx, about the other day…."

"What about it?" she replied, obviously annoyed. Jinx had still not looked up at me. She was looking down, searching around the floor for something. "I apologized. I'm sorry, okay? Just….can we forget about it?" She started stacking boxes she had already packed.

"Yeah, I know you said you were sorry. I…dammit Jinx, can you just stop for a second?"

With that, Jinx slammed down the box she was holding and spun around to finally meet my gaze. Her hands were balled into fists, arms rigid along her side. Those golden eyes that had shown compassion and kindness now blazed with anger and frustration.

"Why? Why, Mr. Tesig!" She advanced towards me, stopping just short of running me down. "Will you lose your temper again? Guess I better stop! Old Sienn isn't here to knock you on your ass again!" She waived her hands above her head to emphasize her point.

I held up my hands and took a step back. "Okay, that's fair. But what the hell? Why are you so angry? I'm trying to…"

She cut me off, taking a step forward to make up the distance of me stepping back and jabbing a finger in my face. "Because after I got over how scared you made me, and how sorry I was that I read your file, I realized just how out of line you were!" She paused for a moment and looked to the side. "Well, Dr. Mindaat helped me realize that." She returned her fury directly at me. "But that's not the point! You over reacted, and I'm mad at you! And you embarrassed me! Sienn is the closest to family I have here. I'm still not sure if she's going to let me back in!"

Jinx was breathing heavily, emotions running unchecked across her face. Her dark blue skin was flushed. Suddenly, I desperately wanted to make amends with her. Her anger was justified.

"You're right," I responded.

My words did not initially register. She had apparently anticipated a different response from me. After a moment, her brain finally informed her of what I had said.

"I am?" she replied. Some of the emotion draining from her voice.

I took a deep breath. This was new territory for me. "You are. Look, I lost my temper. I was still so beat up from earlier on that day, with you and the Doc and my really bad episode. But, I still shouldn't have reacted that way at the bar. I'm sorry."

She blinked, and her body seemed to relax a bit. "Mr. Tesig…"

I held my hand up. "Hold on, there's more. And I'll likely never be this nice again so take advantage of it."

Jinx smiled slightly with that.

"So, Doc mentioned that things haven't been great for you. Don't worry, she didn't go into detail. But, I never really considered how living here with the Empire must have been. I'm sorry I was not nicer to you, and I'm sorry if my outbursts caused you any pain."

She seemed completely disarmed. "You really mean that?"

I could feel myself getting emotional. "I do. I don't know, maybe the Doc is rubbing off on me a bit but…."

I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence. Jinx lunged at me and wrapped her arms around my torso, burying her head in my chest. I didn't know what else to do so I tentatively hugged her back. Then fully embraced her.

Jinx was trembling slightly. "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in so long."

I laughed softly. "Yeah, well. Don't get used to it."

She laughed in return. "I won't. I promise."

Jinx showed no sign of releasing her grip, so I tried to keep the conversation going. "Us crazy people have to stick together, you know? Look out for one another."

With that she unlocked her hands and pushed me away. "Hey, I'm not crazy. I'm fine. You're the crazy one." Jinx replied, a hand quickly coming to her face to wipe away a tear.

I shoved my hands back into my pockets. It was my go to move when I didn't know how to say something. "So, yeah. About this thing you're going to set off to do. I'm not cheap. I'm not sure you can afford me. But, I'll come with you and the Doc. Has to be better than what's going on around here anyway."

Her face lit up. "Really? Yes, I promise. You won't regret it!"

"I know. I'm coming by tomorrow. We'll talk more then. Um…have a good night." I turned to head out the door when she called out.

"Brink'irrin!"

I turned, a little confused.

"Brink'irrin." She said again. "That's the name my parents gave me. You asked, a while ago. But that's it. Jinx is a nickname I picked up later on."

I smiled back at her. "I'm Thackeray. My friends call me Thack." I gave a quick wink before turning around to leave. "You should start using it"

Later that night, after my shift, I made my way back to my apartment, managing to stay away from the bars for once. A part of me was proud that I seemed to be turning over a new leaf. The other part of me laughed. There was half a bottle of the local whiskey stashed under my bed. Who were we really kidding here?

Despite the late night libations though, my head spun with the possibilities. There were plenty of ships for sale or hire. Inevitably, my thoughts turned towards the war, and friends come and gone. Nera was always present. She had been such a stabilizing force. I wondered where she was. I remembered when the pilots of Red Squadron gave me my patch, symbolizing my true acceptance amongst them. Wedge Antilles smiling as he clapped me hard on the shoulder. So many came and went. And yet, nothing changed for me. I changed out ion engines, recalibrated navigation systems, flushed hydraulic systems, lubricated landing stanchions, and on and on. The tasks were endless. And there were always more pilots than there were starfighters to fly. And yet, faces kept disappearing forever. Just to get replaced by young and naïve new ones.

Finally, sleep overcame me. It was mercifully again, uneventful.


	8. Chapter 8 - Voices

**Chapter 8 – Voices**

The evening had started out good for Jinx. Once she had finished packing up most of the items from the clinic, Dr. Mindaat had cut her loose. She headed immediately to the Lessu spaceport. Once she got there, she spied the fancy yacht that Mr. Tesig said he had been working on. She thought maybe she saw him perched high on scaffolding, working in an access panel. However, she was not here to visit him on the job. In one area just off the primary maintenance line, was a large message board covered with hand scrawled messages and posters about ships for sale and hire. Ideally, Jinx wanted to buy a ship. She wanted to be her own boss, to not have to answer to anyone. The problem was, she didn't really know anything about flying a ship. Or owning a ship. Or, really, anything at all about space craft, period.

After an hour of scanning the messages and talking to a few individuals, the slow realization of just how daunting this task was going to be started to settle in. It dampened her spirits outright. She made her way to Sienn's bar. Despite what she had told Mr. Tesig, Thack, it was never a question of whether or not Jinx would be allowed back. In the two years since Jinx's mother had passed, Sienn had looked out for her. Jinx was never quite sure how they became such close friends. Sienn ran the bar, and Jinx and her mom were live in help for a senior Imperial officer. However, they frequented Sienn's establishment often, and it was made clear to Jinx that Sienn would take care of her if anything ever happened.

However, where her mother had been warm and caring, always with a smile on her face, Sienn was serious, stern, and matter of fact. It reflected in the type of establishment she ran. Good food, good beer, but no frills. There was never any live music. No scantily clad bar servers. Just Sienn and her loyal customers.

Jinx had shown up hungry with her spirits plummeting. Sienn saw her to the same out of the way booth that she and Thackeray sat in a few nights previous and brought her herbal tea and stew. Jinx sipped the tea, it was her favorite, then began spooning at the stew. Suddenly realizing how hungry she was, Jinx dove in. The broth was savory, the vegetables just the right mix of cooked but still having a slight crunch, and the meat melted in your mouth. Jinx long suspected it was blurrg meat, but Sienn had never budged on the recipe. Jinx told herself it was blurrg meat. The alternatives to that did not lend any appealing thoughts.

These events, though, were hours past.

Now, she was sitting up against the corner of her small flat, on her small bed. Legs pulled up tight to her chest, arms wrapped around them and forehead resting on her knees. Jinx had felt the anxiety building in her after leaving Sienn's and thinking of all there was to do. By the time she arrived at her small dwelling, it had swelled to a mild panic. It soon exploded into a crushing attack. Jinx tried to use the breathing exercises Dr. Mindaat had taught her, but she still almost passed out from hyperventilating. Once she finally regained control of her lungs, her brain kicked in.

_"The easy part is done! Now what? Buy a ship? You haven't saved enough credits. You'll get cheated!"_ whispered the voice in her mind.

Jinx tried to slow it down, to snuff it out, and to force herself back into control.

_"You won't succeed. They'll just take advantage of you. Again. You're worthless and naïve. Save yourself the trouble and sell yourself to a Hutt syndicate! Stupid kid, kid, kid…kid."_ The voice was relentless.

Jinx squeezed her eyes shut. Her stomach was in turmoil, skin turned hyper sensitive. In the confines of her imagination, a loop reel as clear as a holovid played out all kinds of scenes that Jinx innately knew were wildly implausible, but her body refused to acknowledge that fact.

_"Think you can just play games with me, huh? You little punk!" yelled Thack, face contorted with rage. He raised his hand to her. "Answer me!"_ Jinx flinched in response, a small whimper escaping her.

_Dr. Mindaat came into view. "You know, I really do not have the time to listen to your petty problems. To be honest, you are not worth the effort. Why do you insist on taking away time from people who actually need help? It's probably your fault the clinic is closing." She got up and left, casting an accusatory look of irritation towards her on the way out of her office._

_Sienn's face was unreadable. Impassive. Her eyes were hard as she slowly shut the door of her bar, leaving Jinx standing outside, cold and alone._

_The face of her mother._

"No, please no. Not you," whispered Jinx softly to herself.

_Her mother's face stared hard. There was no emotion in it, and then it just faded._

Jinx's eyes opened wide and she peered into the darkness of her small flat. "Mommy?" she murmured. Nothing.

Then, she saw him. His face was shrouded in darkness, but it was him. Jinx could feel the heat of his body, the smell of his breath. The crushing weight, and her mind shutting down with horrifying anticipation. The distinct physical pain that Jinx felt when she regained consciousness. The shame, sadness, and rage.

Heart racing, Jinx glanced down at her old data pad sitting hear her on the bed. The glow of its dimmed screen was slightly thrown off from the cracked screen. Jinx had not wanted to spend money to fix it. Now, it was a lifeline. Jinx was terrified. She couldn't stop her mind or body. She had no control.

Who can I call? It's the middle of the night. Dr. Mindaat? No. And not Thackeray. Who? I need help. I just want it to stop!

Without another thought she grabbed it up and frantically tapped until a familiar face appeared.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm sorry!" Jinx almost killed the communication right then and there. "It's late."

"What is wrong?" the face asked.

"I can't stop the….it's all…." Deep breath. "I'm not doing so good right now." Jinx stared intently at the face on her datapad. "I'm at my place. Can you come? Do you mind? I'm sorry…."

"I can, I will. Hold on."

The comm display went dark and Jinx tossed it aside, burying her face once again and trying to will all the thoughts away.

After an eternity, Jinx heard her door open and close. A warm figure sat down beside her and gathered her up like a small child, cradling her head against their shoulder, her lekku delicately embraced along her back.

"Thank you," said Jinx. Her body was finally starting to return to normal functions, though it still trembled slightly.

"You do not need to thank me, Brink'irren. I only wish that you would call on me more often," replied Sienn, rocking slightly. The old Twi'lek shushed softly, feeling the youngster relax, then finally rest completely against her in slumber.

Sienn carefully detached from her, then managed to get her laying down and placed a blanket over her. Jinx appeared to be breathing evenly, finally finding elusive sleep. Sienn remained for the few lingering hours until daylight started to invade the shadows. Soon after that, the bustle of the city started to make its presence known.

Sienn looked down at the young Twi'lek, ran her fingers along her cheek, and then placed a soft kiss on her temple. With that, she departed to prepare for what would be a long day.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Pilot

**Chapter 9 – The Pilot**

_The sirens blared incessantly. We get it, I thought to myself, we're in deep shit!_

_I sealed the last hydraulic hose then turned to the other access panel in the crawl way. As I did, the ship lurched hard to starboard. I wasn't sure if we had lost power or were trying to maneuver. All I knew was that I could still hear the turbo lasers firing, which meant we were still in business._

_The crawl way was tight, just enough room for me to lie down and try to patch the leaks that were popping up, or bypassing sections where they were too shredded from the small fires and pressure surges caused by the shields trying to absorb the volleys from passing TIE's. Without the hydraulics staying online, the Apailana's Promise's ability to maneuver at sub light would be degraded._

_As I stuck my head into the next panel there was a bright flash followed by thick acrid smoke. An electrical fire had broken out just ahead of me. Choking and unable to see, I reached below me, frantically feeling around for the small extinguisher that was in myl tool bag. The ship lurched again, slamming me against the ceiling. A panel covering broke loose, pinning me against the floor. I couldn't get the extinguisher up. The heat grew more intense._

_I couldn't move my arms. My eyes were uselessly clenched shut, my lungs filled with toxic fumes._

_I tried to scream for my damage control team leader, but nothing came out. I could hear people running down the passage way just below me. _

_No one was coming. I tried moving my head to gulp for fresh air but only inhaled more smoke._

_Gasping, trying to move my arms. Legs kicking….._

I shot up in my bed so fast, the momentum carried me over the edge and I toppled onto the floor.

"Damned mother of all mynocks!" I yelled at no one in particular.

Staring up at the ceiling, I clutched my chest, taking deep breaths over and over again until I was light headed. Closing my eyes, I tried to slow my breathing. Eventually, I succeeded, and my heart rate returned to something close to normal. Dreams were getting worse, going to have to talk to the Doc about that, I thought ruefully to myself.

Sitting up, I looked around my small apartment. It wasn't much, but experienced mechanics were paid well, and the cost of living on Ryloth was not exactly robust. Everything appeared to be in place from the previous night, no late night stumbling had knocked anything over. Gathering my feet under me to stand up, I caught a glimpse of the local whiskey bottle. It had started the night half full. It had ended the night free of this mortal coil.

Smiling to myself, I stood up straight and rubbed my eyes. Oh well, I thought, there's more where that came from.

After a quick shower and some caf, I made my way towards the clinic as promised to Dr. Mindaat. The air was cool and crisp. I took some deep breaths as I made my way down the less traveled side streets, trying to clear the imagined acrid smoke I could still taste from my dream. After a short walk I entered through the doors and into the front waiting area of the small office building, housing the soon to be closed clinic. The desk normally manned by Jinx was empty. Boxes were stacked against the back wall, all sealed and labeled neatly.

"Jinx has yet to arrive. There is caf back in my office if you would like some," said Dr. Mindaat, walking down the hallway. She had on casual street clothes in place of the more formal professional attire that I was used to seeing her in. Greying, black hair was pulled back into a neat pony tail, and her facial tattoos seemed more contrasted against her yellow tinted skin this morning.

"I'm good, thank you," I replied with an awkward half wave.

She smiled and sat down in one of the waiting room chairs, a cup of caf steaming as she held it to her face, blowing softly on it. "Have you given any more thought to what Jinx has proposed?"

"I have," I replied, leaning against the greeting desk across from her. "First and foremost, why? She mentioned that she was going to look for someone that she knew during the Empire days? This person must be important."

Dr. Mindaat took a slow sip from her caf before replying. "I believe it is someone that knew her mother. From what she has told me, this person has information as to what happened to her."

I was a bit confused. "Why doesn't she just ask her…." I suddenly remembered Jinx mentioning an inheritance. The Doc's look confirmed it. "Oh," I said to myself. Looking down and scratching the back of my head, I tried to think of what to say next. Dr. Mindaat took me off the hook.

"From what Jinx has told me, her mother passed away during the final days of the Imperial occupation. I do not know much past that. Perhaps she'll be more forthcoming with you?" She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head towards the door. I turned my gaze in enough time to see a less than put together Jinx come through the doorway.

Jinx normally wore the local style of snug fitting and functional clothing. In her case, leggings of varying bright colors tucked into ankle high shoes, along with a sleeveless, midriff shirt. A thick head band normally sat high on her forehead with some trailing straps winding a bit down her lekku. Jinx generally highlighted her eyes with liner and light shades, and that was all. This morning did not appear to be a normal one for her.

As the door shut, Jinx went immediately behind the greeting desk, muttering a greeting to those present and keeping her eyes down. Her usual shirt had been replaced by a heavy, long sleeved tunic. A more traditional, heavy fabric wrapping encircled her head and lekku. There was no make up, and she was not making eye contact.

Dr. Mindaat stood and disappeared down the hallway, leaving myself and Jinx alone. I moved from in front of the desk and took up post against the adjoining wall, feeling fidgety while doing so. Why was I always fidgety? Just when I was about to offer up something as a conversation starter, Dr. Mindaat reappeared with a cup of tea. The fragrance betrayed it as the type Jinx seemed to prefer. She offered it up to the young Twi'lek girl and then returned to her seat. Jinx took it with a small smile and took a tentative sip.

After a moment, she finally looked up at us. Her gold eyes looked tired and fatigued. "So, hi. I'm sorry I'm late. It was a rough night."

"My kind of rough night?" I asked, trying to break the ice a bit.

She smiled at me with some appreciative acknowledgement of my efforts. "No, Mr. Tesig….sorry. Thack. Nothing that exciting." She took another cautious sip of her hot tea. "I went down to the spaceport last night. And after looking around and talking to a couple of people," her eyes danced between mine and the Doctor's. "I, I don't think I can pull it off! I'm sorry!" She buried her face back into her tea and took another sip.

The Doc and I exchanged glances.

"What do you mean, you can't pull it off?" I asked.

She looked up, eyes desperate. "I don't know anything about ships. I don't know what I was thinking. And you, Dr. Mindaat, came all the way out here for me."

Dr. Mindaat smiled at the youth. "Jinx, I came here knowing full well the risks I was taking. I was already looking for an excuse to get away from the bureaucracy when I made contact with you. And your desire to embark on this trip provided me with a means to fulfill my own tasks."

I was a bit taken aback by Dr. Mindaat's tone. She was normally so matter of fact. In talking to Jinx, she sounded almost, comforting.

"Look Jinx," adjusting my stance as I spoke, "this isn't just on you. You said yourself you wanted to hire me to help with either buying a ship or helping you hire one, right? Well, that's what I'm going to do."

She seemed at a loss for words, for once, so I continued.

"So, as your hired spacecraft consultant, here's what I suggest. Forget trying to buy your own ship. Most of the hulks down there on the yard are barely flight worthy. Plus, none of us can actually fly. We'll need a pilot. Therefore, we should hire a ship."

Jinx was smiling in relief. "Thank you, Thack."

"You're welcome. And, just so you know. I've got someone in mind."

"You do?" asked Jinx, hope springing in her eyes.

"You do?" chimed in Dr. Mindaat, suspicion in her tone.

I shot a quick smirk at the Doc, then continued to Jinx. "Yeah. Thought on it for a while last night and this morning. I think he'll do okay. Has a small transport, no runs of late so he'll be looking for work I imagine."

"That sounds good," said Jinx, standing from her chair behind the desk. "Is he reasonable? Do you trust him? How do you know him?"

I pushed away from the wall and started for the door. "To answer your questions, I don't know. Not really, and it's a long story." Jinx looked a bit confused, but I continued before she could cut in. "Meet me down at the spaceport maintenance line after the day crew cuts out. We'll go meet him then." I looked over at Dr. Mindaat. "You coming as well?"

She nodded. "I think that would be prudent."

"I agree. Gotta get to work. See you both later tonight." With that I pushed open the door and set out to the spaceport. I felt good, things were moving. Things had not been moving in a long time. Too long, I thought to myself.

The shadows of the coming evening were starting make their way into the maintenance area of the spaceport. They would soon be chased away by the industrial lighting tracks coming alive in preparation for the night crew. I was standing near the job posting board, casually glancing at it while keeping an eye on the main entrance. The ship I had in mind was still showing availability. I only hope he's in better shape than when I first met him, I thought to myself with a combination of humor and concern.

I saw Jinx and Dr. Mindaat enter the main hanger area, I waived to get their attention. Jinx looked better, not sulking like this morning. Dr. Mindaat looked her usual self, calm and put together. She reminded me of the more seasoned bridge officers on the larger ships I had served on.

As they approached, Dr. Mindaat spoke first.

"Before we begin, Mr. Tesig. How did you come to know this individual?" she asked with a hint of suspicion.

I rubbed the back of my head before I spoke. "I met him at a bar a few months ago. He was an A-Wing pilot during the war. I didn't serve with him, but we knew a few of the same people. A-Wing guys were nuts, those things were hot rods with no limits, just waiting to fall apart most of the time. No astromech either, so they were truly on their own. He was at Endor, when we got the second Death Star and the Emporer. They got chewed up pretty bad."

She raised her eyes at me. "And?"

Shoving my hands in my coveralls, I shuffled my feet. "And what?"

"That's all you know about him? Does he have a name?"

"Yeah, pretty much. We've talked a few times since. His name is Asher Moore," I replied.

Dr. Mindaat did not looked convinced. "You met him at a local bar. Will he be sober when we go see him?"

Probably not, I thought to myself. He drinks more than I do. "I don't see why he wouldn't be," I said.

"If Thack thinks he's a good bet, I'm willing to check him out," said Jinx to the Doctor.

She looked down at the young Twi'lek, then shrugged in resignation. "Very well, let's go see."

Okay, got that over with. "Great, follow me then."

I led them past the maintenance line and the various repair bays and out into the main docking area. At the very end sat the very unique looking, obviously modified YT-1760 light transport. It was a squat, half circle shaped craft with the cockpit jutting out from the top of the circle. From the backside protruded the loading ramp, flanked by two large thrusters. The only visible armament was a set of turbo lasers, top and bottom, at the crafts center point. The ramp was down, the passage way leading up dimly lit.

As we got closer I noticed the external power couplings for the shield generator. Interesting.

I stuck my head slightly in and called out. "Hello?" Please don't be passed out, please don't be passed out.

"Thackerary, my friend! Is that you? Come on up. I'm in the galley, through to your right," came the reply.

I smiled at Jinx and the Doctor. "Let's go."

I led them up the passage way and into the ships interior. We passed what appeared to be a main seating area with a holotable, then passed a bulkhead and turned to the right, straight into an open galley.

Asher Moore was sitting with his feet atop the lone table. Rocking back on a chair, he had a sandwich in one hand and a data pad in the other, casually reading something. He wore dark blue pants that looked expensive which were tucked into high, black leather boots. His shirt was loose fitting and a dark tan, over which he wore a black leather vest that matched his boots. Completing the picture was slicked back dark hair and a tanned complexion, punctuated with deep blue eyes.

He glanced up as we walked in, started to turn his attention back to the data pad, then noticed Jinx and jumped to his feet. A broad smile flashed across his face and reached out his hand towards Jinx.

"Hello! My name is Asher Moore. And you are?"

Jinx flushed in spite of herself. I rolled my eyes. "Hi, my name is Jinx." She reached out to shake his hand.

He took her hand firmly but gently. His smile turned from disarming to amusement. "Jinx? Your parents named you Jinx?

She shot me a disbelieving look, I smiled and immediately pretended to rub my jaw to hide it.

Turning back to Asher, she replied with a bit of attitude. "No, it's just what people call me."

His smile went back to disarming. "Okay, fair enough. Thack tells me you're the leader of this expedition."

"Well, I'm not really in charge, but the trip is mainly for me. Dr. MIndaat has a part to play as well," she replied.

Dr Mindaat stepped forward and offered her hand in greeting. "Hello, my name is Dr. Paree Mindaat. Until recently I was the lead counselor for the New Republic Veterans Hospital Division here on Ryloth."

Asher shook her hand and bowed his head slightly. "Yeah, I heard the New Republic is pulling its recourses since Ryloth is going its own way. Shame if you ask me."

"Indeed it is," replied the Doctor.

He then turned towards me. "What about you, Thack. What's your angle in all this?"

I smiled inwardly and outwardly. He's having way too much fun with this, I thought.

"Jinx asked me to come along and make sure she wasn't taken advantage of by smooth talking ex fighter jocks like you," I replied. I had to admit, I was having a bit of fun too. Things were moving.

He put his hands up and looked hurt. "Thack, my friend. Come on now, that's not necessary."

I chuckled. "Also, I'm looking to get off planet. I figured I could lend my expertise to help offset some of the costs of my two friends here. Plus, Jinx is paying me. So, here I am."

"Lend your expertise?" said Asher. "What makes you think I'm in need of a mechanic?"

It's almost too easy, I thought. I used to do this to the pilots all the time. "Well, before I came aboard I happened to notice that the external power couplings for your shield generator are installed backwards."

His eyes narrowed. "Really."

I held his gaze. "Yep. It's an easy mistake, but not really one you want to discover if you're in the process of getting jumped by pirates or something." I noticed out of the corner of my eye Jinx and Dr. Mindaat glancing between themselves, somewhat bewildered about what was going on. Yeah, I was having too much fun.

"S2, go check it out." He held my gaze as well but directed the order off to the side. There were a series of derisive beeps and whistles as a beat up green and black astromech detached itself from a dark corner down the adjacent passage way. It rolled past the group and down the ramp.

Asher paused a bit longer, then sat back down in his chair, motioning us to join him. It just so happened that he had three empty chairs. "So, Thack. How have things been?" he asked.

I shrugged as I settled in to my chair. "Oh, you know. Ups and downs, same as usual." I glanced over at Jinx who still looked a bit confused as to what was going on. "Been a mix lately."

A moment later the astromech rolled back in and let loose with a string of beeps, whistles, sharp squawks, and what could be best described as a small animal slowly dying. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. My droid speak was pretty good, and I would have been embarrassed to translate to Jinx and the good Doctor.

Asher's expression went from surprise to annoyance. "What do you mean it wasn't your fault, is he right?"

More beeps and noises.

"S2, come on! We've talked about this."

A contemptuous squawk.

"The loader droid was leading you on? To what?"

Another beep.

"Seducing!" Asher was leaning forward now, glaring at the droid. "How is that even possible?"

The astromech emitted another round of electronic chatter. Asher put his hand up.

"Just, stop! Make sure it's fixed by the morning or I'm trading you in for a protocol droid!"

S2 chirped loudly in response, a tone that could only be interpreted one way, and spun around. Its mutterings faded as it left to begin its overnight task.

I was barely containing myself. The mouth on that thing! Also, considering S2's master, I was not surprised in the least. "You sure you're in charge of this ship?" I asked, my smile getting away from me.

Asher leaned back into his chair and took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair to put a few stray locks that had shaken loose back into place. "You don't know the half of it, buddy." He gave me a subversive wink and then turned towards Dr. MIndaat.

"Okay, doc. You're up."

"I beg your pardon?" she replied. Her expression had gone neutral. She obviously had reservations, I couldn't say I blamed her considering what had just transpired. I stole a quick look at Jinx, she looked fully confused and helpless.

"Ms. Jinx here said you had a part in this," said Asher. His disarming smile returning.

"I wish to set up clinical services on whatever systems we happen upon during this journey. The Outer Rim is just as neglected and chaotic as ever. This was my original intent in coming out here from Hosnian Prime. As luck would have it, I have some time on my hands now.

Asher's smile lessened and he took a more serious tone. "For war vets?"

Dr. Mindaat nodded in return. "That is correct, though I don't imagine I would want to turn away those in general need of assistance.

The former A-Wing pilot nodded. "That's good to hear. I like it."

He turned to Jinx. "And now to you, Golden Eyes. We've come full circle. I've got a washed up mechanic and an unemployed mind slicer. What, pray tell, is your motivation for this grand quest?"

Jinx shifted in her chair, obviously uncomfortable. I hoped Asher would go easy on her. He had known boundary issues.

"I'm looking for someone," she replied. "Someone I knew during the occupation."

"An old friend?" he asked.

"Not exactly." She broke eye contact.

Asher lowered his head to regain her eyes. "Ms. Jinx, if I'm going to fly you all over the Outer Rim, I need to know what I'm potentially getting myself into." He asked the question evenly and calmly. I exhaled in relief.

"Someone that knew my mother. She died. I think this person may know what happened." Her reply was more determined and confident. She's starting to get the hang of it, I thought.

Asher regarded her for a moment. "Okay then. But I may have some follow on questions later."

She nodded in response, then looked down, picking at her fingernails.

Looking at the group, the well dressed pilot seemed to be pondering something, then he smiled that huge smile again and stood up. "It's settled then, I accept! Welcome to the _Crynyd's Sacrifice_. Myself and my sometimes trusty droid S2-M2 are at your service!"

Jinx anxiously looked at me. I just smiled and shrugged. Honestly, this had gone almost exactly as I had anticipated.

"But, we haven't discussed rates or anything!" exclaimed the young Twi'lek, standing up.

"Relax Ms. Jinx," replied the ship's Captain. "We'll work something out. Thack will make sure I don't take advantage." He looked my direction with a smile. I groaned inwardly. "When would you all like to depart?"

Jinx looked at me, then Dr. Mindaat. We had both stood up as well.

"I still have to close out the clinic and see off a few final patients," offered Dr. Mindaat.

"I have a last job to get done. I owe it to the line chief to finish. Will take me two days," I said.

"Three days, then?" asked Jinx, looking back at Asher.

Captain Moore clapped his hands together. "Very well then, we depart at 0800 hours on the third morning from now. Oh, by the way. Where are we going?"

Jinx hesitated. "I wanted to start in the Cadavine sector."

The pilot crossed his arms. "Interesting choice. Can you be more specific once you get there?"

Jinx stood firm, confidence seeming to grow again. "Just get me there."

"Very well then, Ms. Jinx. Golden Eyes, leader of this band of misfits." Asher uncrossed him arms and glanced up at a clock on the wall and a mischievous grin crept across his face. "Now, if you all will excuse me, I have some other business to attend to."

We said our goodbyes and made our way down the loading ramp. S2 was still beeping to itself as it worked on the power coupling. When the droid saw me it whistled out an expletive towards me then returned to its work.

I laughed out loud.

"You understand him?" asked Jinx.

"Yeah. In my line of work it's only a matter of time before you pick up on what they're saying. Definitely comes in handy."

"What was that it was saying about a loader droid?" she asked, her eyes curious.

I looked down at her. "Trust me, Jinx. You don't want to know." I could have sworn I saw Dr. Mindaat stifle a grin.

Walking towards the main entrance to the maintenance hangar, we were accompanied by the sounds of heavy machinery, high pitched hand held tools, banging and various shouts in multiple languages. The night crew had started its shift. Finally passing through the large entrance, we paused on the sidewalk on the road leading from Lessu's town center.

"Can we trust him?" Jinx asked, repeating the question from earlier in the morning.

I looked back into the spaceport, seeing the _Crynyd's Sacrifice _in the distance. "Yeah, he'll come through."

"You said that he was at Endor?" asked Dr. Mindaat.

"He was," I replied, turning back to the group. "He was with Green Squadron, completely made up of A-Wings. It was a hodge podge of a bunch of other squadrons put together for the fight. How much do either of you now about the battle?"

They both looked at each. "To be honest, not much." said Dr. Mindaat. Jinx shrugged and shook her head.

I shoved my hands in my pockets. I could feel my anxiety levels rising a bit as I recalled the fight.

"Arvel Crynyd was the leader of Green Squadron. Initially they were screening our command ships. Later on they were tasked to go after the Star Destroyer Executor, along with damned near everyone else. It was bigger than your standard Star Destroyer and the Empire's flag ship for the Emperor. Swear that thing was three times the size of a regular Star Destroyer. Things were getting bad so he ordered a run at the Executor's bridge. He got hit but steered his A-Wing into the bridge, completely took it out. Along with all the other damage it had taken, that was it. It lost power and crashed into the Death Star. The Executor was the biggest and most powerful Empire ship there. With it gone, all the smaller Star Destroyers and the Death Star were vulnerable. After that, some commandos on Endor took out the shield protecting the Death Star. Green Squadron ran interference for the remaining fighters going after the Death Star's infrastructure. Not long after, we all got the order to scramble, and it just exploded."

I could see the looks on their faces. It was a combination of realizing that there was significance to the story being told, but not really understanding the weight it placed on the story teller. I continued.

"Commander Crynyd turned the tide of the battle between the fleets. Most of Green Squadron didn't make it back. Asher was one of the lucky ones." I could feel my chest starting to tighten up. Dammit, not now. Please.

Dr. Mindaat seemed to take notice and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Thank you for telling us this, Mr. Tesig. It offers much insight." I felt a calming creep into my body, and a deep breath later I felt at ease.

Jinx appeared deep in thought, then looked at me with that familiar empathy in her eyes. "He named his ship after him?"

I simply nodded in return.

The Doctor removed her hand from my shoulder and took a step back. "Perhaps I can speak with him at some point?"

I smiled but shook my head. "I doubt it, Doc. Don't be fooled by what you just saw. He's chatty, but not in your sense."

She seemed to understand and nodded.

Time to break this up, I thought. "Okay all, we have things to do."

As I turned to leave, Jinx took my hand. "You were at Endor?"

I smiled softly at her. "I was."

She looked at me for a long moment. I wasn't sure if she was studying me or trying to find words. Finally she just squeezed my hand and then let it drop. "Thank you, Thack. I appreciate this."

"Sure thing, Jinx. Thank you for getting back out there."

She turned to leave and I looked at Dr. Mindaat. She gave me a slightly cryptic look, then turned and walked away.

I stood on the street alone, again wondering what to do. I was hungry, but I had food at home. I was thirsty, but there was no libations at home. That sealed it. I turned and headed in that direction.


End file.
